The Latest News from the Bureau of Emo Affairs

During a recent trial involving an adolescent claiming to be "emo," the prosecution's attorney was filmed making the following remark:

ATTORNEY PHOENIX'S OUTBURST IN COURT AGAINST EMO KID

Purple, Bad Movies, and Newby

First off, just let me tell you about the color purple. It's quite a color. It's gay to some, God to others. In fact, my mom loves it, and Zach doesn't like it that much. Kristen is quoted as saying that the color purple "...is purpley. And it's the color purple. And it makes me think of the color purple. Like Barney. Although at one point he was maroon, which makes things confusing." I love Kristen. For more information about the color purple, please visit PURPLE.COM.

Also, don't see "Black Christmas." It's quite possibly the crappiest movie ever. The premise involves and incestuous psychopath that goes on a rampage at a sorority (which didn't close down for Christmas, how lucky is that?) on Christmas because... well... we never found out why. He just did. And he and his sister/daughter rip out peoples' eyeballs because... she lost an eye once. And people die in stupid ways that aren't physically possible. All the background characters either die or ignore the carnage that occurs right in front of them. SO. STUPID. Save your money, kids. Go watch that "Night at the Museum" movie like I wanted to, but couldn't. Zach, don't even start complaining about this.

And, most importantly of all, Newby is back! Yes, the big teddy bear has returned and LAN season has begun -- on the 30th, I believe -- and all we have to do is come up with a 16-port router! Umm... CSS, UT2004, TrackMania, AOE2, and BF2 ftw! (If you don't know what that means, you're not invited.

Stay tuned for more blogs, kids.

M E R R Y ~ C H R I S T M A S !

My First Semester Grades

These are my first semester grades. As you can see, I may have lost my scholarship and a good chunk of self-respect. But I'll bounce back. You just watch.

Here they are. I love Kristen.

Semester Down! Semester Down!

We got a college semester down, we got a college semester down! Yeah, that's right, a crappy mockery of the famous quote from Black Hawk Down (best movie ever.)

And before you even ask, the answer is yes. I have finished my first semester of college. Eat it. I'm proud, nervous, but ultimately relieved. There was a lot of pressure on me this last week that I just didn't need, but now I can reeeelllaaaaaxxxx...

So what did I learn from college? Well, here's my list:

Pajamas aren't for just for bed.
Life is impossible without the internet.
Fabric freshener spray saves money on laundry.
Yes, I want whipped cream for my caramel Javalanche.
I love sticky notes.
Texas girls are hotter.
Even Nerf guns have a limited entertainment value.
I would make an ok assassin.
Gay people are everywhere, you just don't know it.
Squirrels are my real college mascot.
My school colors are up for debate.
Shiela makes the best omeltetes.
Mexicans are excellent chauffers.
Stay away from the Tri-Delt house.
Drunken cowboys are only funny the first time.
It takes 320 12" balloons in order to fill up one room in a suite for a birthday party.
Don't make fun of people with funny accents... when the whole state has the accent.
Scantrons: worth three times their weight in gold.
Sit next to the smelly nerds for a better learning experience.
It is impossible to be in college, and not have a car... MOM.
Late-night study parties: 4% Studying, 96% Partying.
Sock gnomes exist.
Not even the professors know what they're droning on about until 9:30am.
Cheap beer tastes bad. No, I may not have the expensive beer.
No, I don't have any questions, comments, or concerns. I want out of this class.
And last but not least... nobody reads my blogs.

Stay tuned for my terrible BLOGS FROM ARIZONA, which will be wrought with despair, misery, dehydration, LAN parties, Dungeons and Dragons, and a neverending quest to return to the girl I've falled hopelessly in love with. It will be exciting, dangerous, and heart-wrenching. But I'll do it, because otherwise I'd be bored out of my noggin.

Also, don't miss out on my special December 30 blog: "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THIS YEAR?!" Where I wrap up just what the hell happened in 2006. And let me tell you right now, it's quite a lot. So read it, or I'll... uh... do nothing. But I'll be mildly irritated, mind you!

I love Kristen. Bye.

B to the Ored.

So this is me, pretty darn bored. I have three finals tomorrow, from 8am to 8pm. I've studied my history (I'll read over my notes again before I go to bed), looked over my programming (I'll study that more closely tomorrow), and I've aready gotten a heads-up about how easy the Intro to Engineering final is. So I think I'm pretty much good to go, if only I can stand sitting on my rear for pretty much 12 hours. Ugh.

And I tried donating plasma again, however this time, they wanted an official document with my social security number on it, and they didn't care too much about my proof of adress, which was the big issue last time I tried. So now, I have to secure a way to get that, so I can have a little extra cash with me before I leave for Arizona again.

Which, by the way will occur at 10am Saturday morning, and I won't be back (officially) until Jan 12, in the evening. I say officially because I plan on taking a road trip down here with some of my Arizona friends sometime during the winter break... I don't know if I can stand being away from Kristen that long, but what can I do?

So, here is my agenda... thing. I've gotta eat a healthy lunch, gotta help clean Jeff's room, gotta go see Kristen and her concert tonight, gotta study history and programming, gotta take three finals, gotta see Kristen Thursday and Friday, and gotta get out of here Saturday morning. And then, I gotta convince my friends to do the road trip thing, and then I gotta get more money somehow, and then I have to survive a barrage of LAN parties and D&D Sessions in Arizona.

So, I've got a lot on my plate, but it's like escargot. A delicacy for everyone in Arizona... but just snails to me. I just want to be with Kristen this Christmas. Stupid Arizona.

Findings from the Bureau of Emo Affairs

There is a dark and dreary sect of our society that we are all loathe to acknowledge with any semblance of seriousness. It is a terrible subculture, comprised of beings that almost seem subhuman. It feeds on pain and sorrow, and is the source of a disgusting toll of suicide attempts and fraudulent bisexual relationships. It’s horrifying reach extends into our malls, into our airwaves, our schools, and every major street corner. This is the emo culture. And it is no longer something we can ignore. It has grown from a fashion based on a musical style into a terrifying mindset that threatens the intellectual future of our society.
It all began in the late 1980s, as “indie” bands began to form new sounds and styles of music, and develop their own wacky outfits. By the late 1990s, the indie style had attached itself to a certain kind of music. This music was filled with regret, anger, bitterness, grief, and broken hearts. It didn’t really have a name at first, although everyone agreed it was very emotional. The terms emotional metal, emotional rock, and hardcore emotional all became concatenated into things like “emorock” and “emocore.” Finally, it was just emo.
Being emo means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. There is, however, a universal base that all emo people can relate to: The use of depression and sensitivity as a fashion. Due to the popularity of the music, fans believed it was “in” to actually feel depressed and be overly sensitive all the time. Adolescents that had perfectly happy lives began forcing themselves to become pessimists, to develop antisocial tendencies, to scribble poems about death and darkness on their arms with ballpoint pens. Go ask an emo kid why they chose to be emo, and the universal reply is “Because I wanted to stand out and be an individual.” It is a tragically ironic statement that illustrates the fact that they all conform to the standards of nonconformity set in the indie period of the ‘80s.
They truly believe they are as worthless as their favorite artists sing about being, and so begins the really scary facet of emo culture: The suicide attempts. When the average person is bored, he or she will generally go find something fun to do. When the average emo kid is bored, he or she will generally try, and fail, to kill themselves. First they write an elaborate suicide note, explaining about everything that is wrong in their lives. Common items on the lists are breakups with girlfriends and boyfriends, the fact that parents don’t understand them, the fact that society doesn’t accept them for being whiny crybabies in thick black eyeliner, the fact that they got grounded, broken nails, had a bad dream, and hosts of other events that will occur quite frequently in everyone’s day-to-day life.
But the emo culture dictates that instead of getting over it or solving the problem, the only way to be happy is to either feel pain, or feel nothing at all. And so begin the suicide attempts. And yes, they are only attempts because the emo kid knows that he will only be able to kill him- or herself once, and so he/she wants to save their most popular move for something important. The average attempt is only half-hearted. This all results as a combination of peer pressure, the confusing emotions of puberty, and depressing song lyrics.
But what about the emo kid being overly sensitive? They overreact emotionally in any given situation (see the section where they attempt to end their life due to a broken nail.) But just because emo kids believe they have dark souls and bleed black doesn’t mean they are heartless. The Great Emo Mandate, the set of guidelines that govern emo behavior, dictate that because all emos have no love in their lives, an emo kid is required to give another emo kid acceptance and love for a period of time before breaking their hearts by giving it to someone else. Hence, it becomes “cool” to become bisexual. Some may be bisexual, but there are many cases where straight emo kids will simply act bisexual in order to conform to the emo standard of “standing out.”
But that is the outside of your typical emo. What makes them tick? What sort of creamy, nougat center are they hiding from the world beneath a crunchy peanut-covered chocolate exterior? As it turns out, it’s just your everyday teen angst and other assorted confusing emotions. Being emo is just one way of handling adolescence. Reading from “Hidden Scars” by Irving S., it’s clear to see that he just collects dark images and emotions together and displays them to the world, keeping any joy in his life to himself; emo kids vehemently oppose revealing the fact that they actually possess the ability to feel happiness. Irving S. points out “lost lives, grief and pain” (“Hidden Scars” line 2.) He claims he had “nothing to feed on but the misery [he] lived through” (Lines 14-15.) Some peoples’ lives really are this bad.
Irving S. just wishes his was this terrible, because bands such as My Chemical Romance and Hawthorne Heights have drilled it into his confused little brain that melodrama will make him popular. And so, he sits, writing dark poetry about emotions he could get over if he would just look at his situation. For the audience’s convenience, his situation (along with every emo kid’s “situation”) has been displayed for an easy comparison. Note in the photograph of this real, live emo kid the clothes, first. You can see dark clothes, unnaturally dark hair, and a popular symbol of death on his wristband. You may notice that the jeans were designed for females, and that he can’t possibly walk around safely with that hairstyle.
But as upsetting as those items are, they distract your typical “normal” person from the real issues at hand. You see, this emo kid shies away from the camera. He has to be reclusive, mysterious, giving outsiders the impression of depression and sensitivity. And then we notice the room, in it’s raging purple glory. Such a sharp contrast from the gloomy zombie in the center, the brilliant, stereotypically happy hue just goes to show that this kid’s life is actually doing just dandy.
But now that we see the problem, how do we fix it? How do we prove to emo kids like Irving S. that their lives are actually happy when they feel that any joy will make them unpopular? How do we explain to them that by standing out in the same exact way, they are all nonconformist clones and therefore defeating the purpose? How do we explain that eyeliner doesn’t really make them look cool at all? And how do we break it to them that nobody actually feels sorry for them? For the life of me, I can’t understand how the world’s most brilliant minds have sat down one by one and racked their noggins for the solution to all these critical questions, and came up empty. Because there is only one, logical, efficient solution:
Throw buckets of icy water on the emo kids. It will wash the makeup away, it will make their clothes tighten so painfully they will realize the fatal flaw in their choice of apparel, and above all, they will actually wake up and look at the world for the first time to see it for what it really is. And what it really is is a place that has as much humor and joy as pain and sorrow. I, for one, love this world. But I also know it’s a package deal. I can’t write reports on emo culture for the United Nation’s Bureau of Emo Affairs, something that makes me happy, without also needing something sad to balance it out, such as soft rock still being played on the radio.
And I, for one, am scared senseless when I think of a world in which the emo culture is allowed to persist. Nothing would get done. We’d just be stuck in a quagmire of crying, falsely bisexual, poorly dressed people with a disappointing taste in music. But by uniting and fighting back, we can bring logic and happiness back into our malls and schools. Don’t do it for yourself, don’t do it for the sake of the malls or the schools, don’t do it for the sake of the rest of humanity, don’t even do it for the sake of the emos. Do it, because you know you’ve always wanted to dump a bucket of freezing water on them.

Works Cited

“Emo Kid” by Anonymous. Picture courtesy Google Image Search.

“Hidden Scars” Irving S.
Log Cabin Ranch





No emos were harmed in the making of this essay. Except for the ones who were offended by it and consequently cut themselves, incorrectly believing it would make a statement about their predicament.

I Love Kristen

Because she makes me happier than I have ever been. Plus, she's prettier than all of you put together.

My December

"My December" by Linkin Park


Well, that icy Thursday ushered in the winter for us down here. I tried donating plasma, but I had problems proving that I lived in the dorm at UTA. But, I now have an official document to prove it. Donating plasma seems great -- not only do I get some cash, but I get to help people out! And just that one receptionist had an issue with me... everyone else was like "Well, he has a student ID and all a driver's license... we know who he is and he's given us his adress... what's wrong?"

Oh, well. I'll get back to that sometime.

In other news, my good friend Alex has produced a superb film (if I do say so myself), about a college guy with a severe case of ADD. He tries to go through a normal day but keeps zoning out and having strange fantasies. It's short, it's funny, and it means absolutely nothing. But I really enjoyed it almost as much as I enjoyed acting in it (along side the beautiful female lead, Kristen!)
If it is a small enough file, I may be able to post a link to it for everyone's enjoyment. But for now, we gotta have the "My December" music video by Linkin Park that should be playing. Unless, of course, you're reading this via Facebook instead of keeping up with my ACTUAL blog...

And now about finals.

I scored a 100% on my C programming lab practical exam. Very awesome, so I'm very happy!
I have my precal final on Saturday. Way to ruin the weekend, right? Gah! But at least I can get it out of the way first, right?
My english final is a big essay on emo culture. I'll post it as soon as I have it finished. It's due Friday, so hopefully it will be up by then.
My history final is going to be two essays... and he grades the essays pretty hard, so I'm not looking forward to that AT ALL.
And I have NO CLUE what's going on with my 1105 class or lab. We have incomplete labs due to the inclement weather that shut down the campus last Thursday, so we're kinda failing but it's not our fault. But also, I don't think there is going to BE another lab. And we haven't done anything in the class all year, so God knows what THAT final is going to be about. If there even IS one. So confusingly useless are my "Intro to" classes.

Eh, well, after that, I'm just trying to see Kristen as much as possible before I'm whisked away to Hell -- I mean, Arizona, for the holidays. And a ridiculously long period of time after the holidays.

Stay frosty.

Ice, Ice, Baby!

In Arizona, we have four seasons: Summer, post-summer, snowbird season, and pre-summer. Ice is the weird stuff that comes out of your fridge and instantly turns into steam. Snow? Not even in the dictionary. Cold is 60 degrees. Yeah, brrrr....

So imagine just how stoked I was to learn of a massive, freakish cold front moving in Wednesday night? VERY stoked. I was like, stoking out. A lot. Because the high is in the 30's, and the low is in the 20's. This is going to ROCK! I'm watching my internet thermometer right now, just watching the temperature drop, listening to the rain outside, and desperately praying everything is covered in ice tomorrow.

Because, not only would that be cool (no pun intended), it would mean that school would be closed! Which would mean NO PRECAL! And yes, Kristen, I said precal, not precalc. Because I love you. Speaking of Kristen... today was our two-month aniversary, and I'm still falling in love with her! (By the way, Kristen, we need a new picture. I love the one we have now, but we need one taken by someone else of us being not so dorky!)

So, to recap, I love Kristen, I have to catch up on a lot of apparent missing programming assignments, I'm failing precal but getting tutored, and am seriously going to have fun tomorrow!

A Smack in the Face

Well, what did I get on my wonderful return from Arizona? You know, what was supposed to be a heavenly week of being with my friends in Texas and getting back to having a goold ol' time?

Oh, well, let's see, suddenly, I'm carless, virtually moneyless, gradeless, baseless, trustless, and utterly incapable of success... according to my parents. Yeah, thanks, I leave the home and you people still manage to make me miserable. What the hell?

So I'm reevaluating my future, now. I WAS planning on working for my dad's company over the summer to make some spending money for next year, but I really really hate Arizona. I still desperately need financial help from my family, but I just can't stand being with them. I'd really like to get a nice job here (perhaps with Data Doctors) and rent out an apartment. Then, I could bring my car down here for next year (when I actually own a car) and I'll have an apartment, and then I can just jump into college without being in the dorms...

But then I'll need a roommate, starting in the summertime. Any takers*?




Because, seriously, walls are closing in on me and I'm doing all I can to be able to breathe. That means I can't go to any more movies, I'm seriously cutting back on how much I eat out, no more buying random crap for my dorm (in fact, I have two nerf guns for sale now) and that bike is looking a whole lot less expensive than car rides everywhere.

But I love it here. The weather is perfect, there are trees and grass and squirrels, I have very good friends, and I've had a lot of good times. I love UTA, and above all else, I have Kristen, whom I love very much, and she's always there for me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


ROOMMATE APPLICATION

1. Name
2. Age
3. Occupation/Means of helping pay rent - REQUIRED
4. Transportation
5. Basic domestic maintenance skills REQUIRED
6. Smoker? If you are, don't even think about it
7. Drinker? If you are, keep it to yourself
8. Can you put up with my antics?
9. Can you live without heat?
10. Since we're likely to live in a cheap piece of crap in a piece of crap neighborhood, do you know any defensive tactics such as rapid martial arts or knife handling or sharpshooting in able to survive in what will essentially be an urban warzone?
11. Are you capable of cleaning up after yourself without burning down the apartment?

Fill this out so I can start considering my options.

To Return

One of my favorite artists is Chevelle, here are the lyrics to their song, "To Return."

To return to the cold
It isn't much fun
To touch the trees no one has known
Go rest your head
Cause you can't miss this
Poor boy became
A slave to use
Now despair moves in so close
Too many years free at last
He didn't know so learned to speak
He clears his throat
Cause you can't miss this
[Chorus]
Poor boy became
A slave to use
Rebuild what's left
Of this child, so weak
Sorry, changes, trample the plan
Death, stores, victims
Once more
Keep on burnin' through the noose
To return, to the cold
It isn't much, but I'm free at last

It is one of my favorite songs from that album, but that's besides the point. The point is the last two lines of the song. I'll be touching down at DFW at 8:00pm Sunday night, and, dear God, it can't come soon enough. My family has totally driven me off the edge, and the very idea of Arizona makes me angry, and I am not an angry person. I miss the moisture, the grass, the trees, the privacy, the people (even the people that think they're cool rappers at 4 in the morning and would like to let the whole world know), especially my friends, and above all else, I miss Kristen so much.

But I've got plenty of music and stuff to keep me busy on what will be the LONGEST airplane ride of my life.


But what did I accomplish in Arizona? Well, spent a little time with my family (they say not enough, I say way too much.) I saw some movies, hung out with friends, did some laser tag, and royally pissed off my parents when I asked for the billionth time to take my car with me over winter break. They pulled the whole "If you do it, we stop helping you pay for college" card.

"Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny" was a very, very strange movie. I didn't really care for it much, but it had its moments. It was an odd combination of my kind of humor, mixed with a very profane, perverse, and otherwise MORONIC kind of humor. But it was like the good ol' days -- seeing the latest movie (which always happens to be the stupidest) with all my friends.

"Flushed Away" was amazing! It was so funny -- to little children, to kids, to teens, to people like me, and even to my parents! I would highly reccommend this one. And I know I butchered that word.



Yeah, so, I just can't wait to be back in Arlington, where I'm pretty sure I belong. Either that or San Diego. But San Diego doesn't have Kristen. Although... it DOES have some pretty tasty churros. Mmm... churros... Oh! Sorry, got distracted there for a second. Wait, it's a blog, how do I get distracted in my own blog? Oh my God, I'm babbling. Here we go, picture! Then... publish!

Thanksgiving in Arizona

Okey dokey... I just got up and realized I haven't blogged about this yet. And what is "this," exactly? Why, it's just the fact that at 2pm today (Wednesday) I will be on my way to Tucson, Arizona to celebrate Thanksgiving. I shall return to UTA Sunday night. But worry not, I'm bringing my faithful Lappy, and I get to relax for a few days before I start worrying about all the homework I could have been catching up on.

Hannah's birthday was yesterday, so we pulled a college shenanigan to celebrate: After visiting with her, Erik pretended to leave the room (assisted by Stephen), while Erik actually hid in the shower area. Stephen left, taping Hannah's door so it wouldn't lock when she closed it on her way out. Hannah then left for work. Erik and Stephen got back in the room with 320 balloons, and began inflating. Shortly thereafter, I came in to assist with the balloons. Eventually, the entire room was filled with about four or five feet of balloons -- it was so cool! Then we hid, and waited.
Hannah returned to a dark room full of balloons. There was confusion at first, and then we (all 10 of us in the room, I believe) all jumped out and yelled things like "Agh!" and "Unh!" and "Aaaaayyy!" and "Surprise" and "Happy Birthday" and "Wooo!" We spent the next ten minutes playing with the balloons, and then after destroying them all (sounded like gunshots with them big balloons), we headed on over to TGIF Friday's for dessert. Yummy.

So, you just have fun doing whatever, and I will be in touch electronically, and with my cell phone. Unless you feel like making long-distance calls to Arizona.

Camping, Fever, and Explorers

Howdy, y'all! Guess what time it is? Nope, you're wrong, as usual. The correct answer was: Brian's Blogs Time! You may now cheer uncontrollably.

So, let me tell you how that camping trip went, following one of the worst tests I've ever been given. Seriously, every 2-5 minutes they had a professor running into the room saying "There's been a typo on the test!" And so we'd have to go back and do it all again. We kind of wanted to take medieval battle axes and pillage the college after that. Luckily we didn't, because it was a tad cold.
Oh, but that didn't stop the camping. Basically, we sat there eating junk food around the fire, inhaling the smoke. It just got colder and colder. So we went to bed at midnight; all of us huddled together in our individual sleeping bags or matresses in one big tent. However, Jeff left to go sleep in his car partway through because it was "warmer than the freaking tent."


And then I heard voices that roused me from the sleep. I could make out flickering flames through the fabric of the tent. And low, muttering voices that I couldn't recognize. I rolled over to Erik, who had woken up, too. "Erik," I said. "Listen. Those guys out there are using our campfire!"
"Yeah," Erik responded nonchalantly.
"Some random guys just jacked our campfire, dude!"
"They're not random."
"You mean they're from the campsite next door?"
"No, it's the rest of OUR group."
"...oh. They better have breakfast ready."

Breakfast was hotdogs we had to roast ourselves. Mmmm, it was actually pretty good!
"Waffle House sounds pretty good right now," Jeff suggested.
"Funny," I replied.
"Yeah, let's go to Waffle House!" the rest of the group chanted.
"You can't just go to Waffle House for breakfast on a camping trip!" I argued.
"Shut up, what do YOU know about camping, noob?" They retorted.
So we went to Waffle House. It sucked. Then we went fishing. We rented a pontoon and got some live bait. The stupid little guppies just swam around in the bag we had to cart everywhere. The boat was pretty fun, but, OH YEAH! Nobody had any real skill with fishing!

No problem. We had two hours with a boat. So we drove around, peeing in the water and singing sea chanties. I love being a guy. It was kinda cold, but, personally, it felt REALLY REALLY good to be back on the water again. It's not the same as California, but the salt spray and the waves.... ah! So good!

So I get soaked in the cold.

And when I stick my pants in the fire to dry them, it doesn't really work. Just makes them smell like smoke.

But we launched a few water balloons, tossed the bag of guppies into the lake because we only used two of the 30 that were swimming around in there. Then we drove home, and I took a nap, and then I got to see my Kristen! So the trip wasn't a total loss. I was so happy to see her; I wasn't allowed to call her the entire trip. I almost stabbed Jeff on the way home because he was making too much noise while I was trying to call her.

I woke up Monday feeling kinda sick. By the end, I had a nice fever going. So I was popping ibuprofen and sudafeds all day, and guzzling orange juice, and Kristen came over and napped with me. I've never known a more peaceful moment in my life. I skipped all my classes Tuesday, just stayed in popping pills and guzzling orange juice. I went to the Cafe for lunch, and once I got some food in me, I felt great! And so we went to Explorers...

And we got to do Building Searches. SCORE!
And they put Kristen and I together as a team. SUPER SCORE!
And we got our new Class A uniforms. ANOTHER SCORE!

My mom was worried I was getting pneumonia. I'm worried that if my body doesn't quit acting up, my grades are going to get pneumonia. But I think I did very well on the major part of the programming exam, and I KNOW I rocked the history exam. Next week, I'll play catch up, and somewhere in there I'll have to register for Spring 2007... stupid advisors always complicating things and delaying my progress.

I love Kristen.
I'm going to bed.
Sweet dreams, Kristen.

Gargh!

I hope I haven't used that title before, but I've been making that noise a lot. This whole college thing is finally becoming painful. I've never studied harder in my life. Ironically enough, I've never failed harder in my life, either. What worries me is that I don't understand why. I was doing so well... and then I (along with the rest of my class) gets slapped in the face with a big, fat F on our second precalc midterm. So I'm officially hurting.

However, I am having a great time OUTSIDE of the tests. And I've collected some of my favorite pictures to show off, so as to lighten the dark mood. Oh, and another thing I keep forgetting to mention: Me, Alex, Jeff, Stephen, Erik, and probably two other random guys that I can never remember are going camping up at Cedar Hill State Park from Friday night to Saturday morning. We're going to eat junkfood, go fishing, and play with water balloons, all without electronics. I will probably spend the night curled in the fetal position in my tent, crying about the lack of my connections to Kristen. Whom I love. But if you don't know that by now, you're a total idiot and you should slam your toe in the door. So, now that I'm back from my tangent, enjoy the pictures:

This picture right here is indeed me, trying on a pink princess dress in 4th or 5th grade. Fun.

I'd probably be lost and confused and definitely very lonely and sad without Kristen. Love ya, baby!

The Long-Awaited Update on My Life

I haven't blogged in a while. That will change. But here's a quick recap of my life since last blog:

1 - Struggling in my classes. However, I am slowly crawling back up to the top. I let things get out of hang, and now I'm taking back control.

2 - Dropped my Education class. That class was horrible, I felt like I was in kindergarden again.

3 - I am the luckiest guy in the world. Thank you, God, for letting me meet Kristen.

4 - See number 3.

5 - Later today I have my PT test with the Arlington Police Explorers. I'm stoked about this because we never really did PT in Oro Valley. We'd do pushups every now and then if we were REALLY bad, but that's nothing compared to what the APE's do. I just now realized that Arlington Police Explorers becomes APE when you acronymize it. And I just invented the term "acronymize." I'm on a roll today with my genius. Anyways, there are team tactics (still not quite sure what that is) and an obstacle course and then the usual pushups, situps, and running. I want to blow them away in order to gain a better nickname than "Arizona."

UPDATE for Item Number 5: I was the only one who "passed" the test. They still call me Arizona. But I don't consider it a success because a team is only as fast as its slowest member. Therefore, I won't accept it until the whole team is passing.

6 - I love Kristen.

7 - The smoothies at the new smoothie place in the UC Plaza suck. Absolutely craptastic. What's more, they taste bad and are way too expensive.

8 - Saw "The Prestige" with Kristen. I highly reccommend that movie. It has a lot of twists and turns that you don't really expect. However, you have to be paying attention and watching closely. It was very nicely done.

9 - I do not like Wednesdays or Thursdays. I can already hear you asking "why?", and I'll tell you why. On Wednesdays I have my programming lab. I love programming. I just wish it wasn't centered around my lunchtime. Thursdays... I just have a bunch of classes. Blech! Well, at least CSI is on Thursday. CSI absolutely rocks.


I'm sure I will update my blog more frequently. Thank you for your undying patience.

Blogging about Blogging

As I type this, I'm attending a presentation about the Impact of Blogs and Podcasts. That means, that I'm blogging while listening to a symposium on blogs. I have just blogged about blogs during a blogfest. Jeff is sitting next to me. He smells good.

Seeing as how this is the most useless blog ever blogged, I think I'll keep going on with an update on my life.

Oozeball '06 was tons of fun. Dirty fun. Wet, dirty fun. We easily won our first game because the opposing team was made of sorority girls who just wanted to roll around in the mud and give us a show. We lost our second game and then mud wrestled. I'll definitely do it again. I'll also post some pictures up here one day so you can share in the fun.

Alex and I have entered the planning stages of our movie, "The Cause," a sci-fi action film involving martial arts and time travel. Wootsauce!

Jeff and I have decided to join the Arlington Police Explorers. They're pretty hardcore when it comes to practical scenarios, so I like them. Plus, their uniform is cooler, and they get airsoft guns. I'm sure I could go into much more detail on my life, but I'm going to stop now so I can listen to this lady tell me what I already know about the internet.



At least I get credit for this.

Squeaken?

I saw a squirrel today. It ran into a crowd of people, became scared and confused, ran around for a bit, and then LEPT! onto a tree. It made my day.

First Report from UTA

Well from the minute I arrived, things have been going a million miles an hour here. There is a neverending selection of stuff to do! I can hardly make up my mind -- the system basically ensures that you don't waste a single minute of your life, whether you're playing pool with friends, or going to barbecues or concerts or playing volleyball or bowling or toga parties -- whatever! I will NEVER, NEVER have a dull moment here. Thank you, UTA.

My history and english classes are my easiest ones. History is a 300+ student class, with the professor giving his lectures with powerpoints. It's pretty cool, just simple note-taking and light reading assignments. English is a small class, and it's a LOT like my senior year in English. Without the enormous readings.

My C Programming class will be easy because of my familiarity with the basics of programming, the thing is, its my farthest class. Eleven blocks from my dorm! And the lab is three hours long, but oh well. It's three more hours I'm on the computer, so I'm happy about it.

It's the intro to engineering that's gonna kill me. They keep track of the exact time you come to class, and will deduct points for being late/absent. Though we will do some fun projects every now and then, I don't think I'll enjoy this class. Most of it will cover the other disciplines of engineering, which I don't really need! It's a shame this is required. I think there's only one week where they go over the intro to CSE. So, basically, I have a week-long class stretched into a strict, semester-long ordeal.

Also, precalc is another killer, but for normal reasons. It's an 8am class, the teacher has a heavy Texas accent, and there is lots of homework. Blech!

My dorm is very comfortable, and I've already made tons of friends. The kids from my CSE classes are just as geeky as me! Also, I've joined the Gamers Club, and I'm thinking about helping out at the TV station. We'll see what happens. It's cooler and more humid here than in Tucson, and I have a big bag of Sun Chips to munch on. All in all, I'm very happy with UTA.

Moving to Texas

I'm heading out early Thursday morning (Aug 24, 2006) and driving from Tucson, Arizona, to Arlington, Texas. I'll be moving into Kalpana Chawla Hall (KC Hall to all you locals) by Friday afternoon. I'll post another blog when I'm all set up. In the meantime, you can reach me by my cellphone. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Laptop

Well, got my laptop today. It's a Pavilion dv5223om with an AMD Turion 64 mobile Processor ML-37. It's got a gig of RAM, an 80g hard drive, and Windows XP Media Center Edition. I'm very pleased, so while it's setting up, I'm going to post a blog about it!

Ok, I'm done.

2006 National Law Enforcement Explorer Conference

For the week ending on Friday, July 14, 2006, I was in Flagstaff, Arizona for the 2006 National Law Enforcement Explorer Conference with the Oro Valley Police Explorer Post #2011. First, some history:

I joined the post after my freshman year in high school, drawn by a picture in the newspaper of kids around my age in SWAT uniforms. I was accepted into the post immediately following a regional competition at Old Tucson. However, some of the command staff retired as I joined, leaving me stranded in a crippled post. We trained hard, and did the best we could, however, we went through many members and hardships before we were able to go to another competition. You see, our post is very liberal, and often times we just sit around discussing new ways to make us safe and miserable. Things began to look up when I was promoted to corporal, and my voice began to matter. I pushed as hard as possible for the National Conference

And we trained hard. Hard because we had to work around the last months of school and summer vacations and other jobs. Hard because we were expected to fail. Hard because myself and the lieutenant were the only remaining members since the last time we had a competition -- and we couldn't be around that much to help train!

But somehow, we got there. My team (Alpha) consisted of Lieutenant Felice, Sergeant Woodward, Sergeant King, and myself. Team Bravo consisted of Corporal Martino, Explorer Kirby, and Explorer Steinmetz.

On the first day, we checked into the dorms at Nothern Arizona University, and walked around the campus to get an idea of what was going on. We attended the opening rally, and met the three candidates for Youth President. Cory Jackson, the man who will probably win, was insane. He had that sharp southern drawl, but practically shouted his speech with such an energized conviction that he whipped us all up into a frenzy! He even did his trademark move: pointing his fingers as if they were a gun! So, basically, Cory Jackson is the Chuck Norris of the Law Enforcement world.

On the second day, we walked around and attended some seminars. We also talked a lot about Jump Club. What's this Jump Club I speak of? A techno rave, held every night at 9pm in the Student Union! And, just for us, came complete with excellent DJs, lasers, two big screens showing visuals, two gangs, and a plethora of 14 year old girls pretending to dance! It kind of burned our eyes. But Elijah loved it -- he's a techno freak. Then we trained and trained until we felt like we could take on the world.

On the third day, we went to war. Hardcore. We geared up, psyched up, and lined up. We were assigned to the Arrest and Search scenario by the DEA:
-Arrest warrant for Kim Thompson.
-Search warrant for his dorm hall. Search is to include any materials used for the sale, manufacture, or packaging of narcotics, including but not limited to any drug paraphanelia, and any materials related to the website and the business "White Bull."
-An informant came to the DEA explaining that White Bull markets methamphetamines to NAU students as legal supplements through the website.
-Team Alpha of the Oro Valley Police Department had to go in and serve the warrants.
So we stack up outside Kim Thompson's door, and announce: "This is the Oro Valley Police Department, come out with your hands up now!" A voice replies, no. "Police Department -- open the door and come out with your hands up -- do it NOW!" Agitated, the voice within again refuses. We announce a third time, our command presence never wavering. A man fitting Thompson's description opens the door.
Myself, Sgt. Woodward, and Sgt. King hold him at gunpoint and issue our orders for compliance while Lt. Felice covers the hallway. The man is not phased at all by us, and retreats into his room. We can only scream for 30 more seconds before we've had enough. Sgt. Woodward holsters his weapon and flies into the man in one fluid movement, but already we can see it will be a tough fight. The man is, in Sgt. Woodward's own words, "A mountain with a face -- nevermind a man." An ex-linebacker, and 250 lbs. of muscle, he towered above us, unyielding even to our most fearsome commands.
After ten seconds of watching my sergeant wrestle The Hulk, I step into the room, but I have to back out as the man swipes at my gun. So Sgt. King holsters his weapon and launches himself into the melee. The two sergeants finally forced the man to the ground with a thunderous THUMP! and handcuffed him despite his awesome efforts to resist.
We could not verify who he was except by visual comparison to a picture of Thompson. Thompson continued to spew alibis, and I had him placed into a squad car but held at the scene for questioning. Meanwhile, the rest of my team moved ahead into the next room, whereupon they found another man, and detained him because he was armed. We held him for questioning too, and ran his ID, which came back negative. So these men were connected with White Bull -- now we just needed the evidence to prove it.
I couldn't help but smile as Lt. Felice, Sgt. King, and myself walked into the room and snapped on gloves. This was CSI time. We gave the rooms the type of crime scene investigation that Gil Grissom wouldn't have been able to pull off himself. We recovered several pounds of powder, as well as bank statements, a large, undefined sum of money, a cellphone, and the laptop that ran the website. We also took into possesion two illegal firearms, and a soda can with possible traces of narcotics.
It was a total success. The DEA agents loved us, and, more importantly, we loved us!

Later that night we were treated to a show by Chriss Bliss, the famous comedian, and a very famous and world-renowned ventriloquist named Ron. The show was pure awesome!

The next day, my team had our last event. We had to give a Crime Prevention schbiel to a panel of judges acting as concerned citizens attempting to initiate a Neighborhood Watch program. We didn't do so hot on the multiple choice test, but we used the information from that to form our presentation; we had no idea what we were doing before we took that test. So, making it up as we went along, we gave a roughly organized, but highly informative presentation. Again, they loved us, explaining that we are one of the more personable posts at the Conference, and one judge even used the term "phenomenal!"

Bravo Team did ok. Their first event was a domestic violence issue, which they eventually got under control after being assaulted by flying objects and denying backup. Then they had a crime scene search, and they limped on without me, knowing that I'm the CSI geek. They missed the bullet casing in a possible suicide. Ah, well.

So we attended some more seminars, minus our Lt. Some of us even checked out booths from other Explorer Posts. The Helena, Alabama Post actually has one post for its normal members, and a post for SWAT Explorers. They also have a ridiculously tricked-out H2, complete with flashing blue lights, pitch-black windows, 24" rims, and an Xbox 360. Filthy stinkin' rich, all because of that darned Cory Jackson!

On Friday, we witnessed an amazing demonstration put on by local and federal law enforcement agencies. However, it was the US Marshals' Special Operations Group that really rocked out world. They started off with some tactical driving demonstrations, including a top-heavy prisoner transport van and security car in formation doing high-speed, forward and backward 180's. Then they set up for an assault on a house that we could all see into. First the sniper team in the hills popped yellow smoke so we would know that they're there, but nobody would be able to tell without the smoke. Then the assault team pulled up in the Armored Personnel Carrier, and stacked up away from the house. The breaching team packed explosives into the front door, while another man rode around to the back on an ATV. He placed a gallon of ammonium nitrate and fuel oil (an ANFO bomb, to those of you familiar with the Oklahoma bombings), and set it off in the "backyard."
Despite the fact that we were 50 yards away, there was a bright flash of light as an impossibly large fireball raced towards the sky, and we were blasted with a wave of broiling air as the shockwave pounded our chests. It left a crater in the football field of NAU, where they had set this all up. One second after the diversionary explosive went off, the sleepy university was rocked by another explosion -- this time from the front door. It blew apart with a loud bang, and the assault team rushed in. In each room they dropped flashbangs, so now I know what they're like in real life, and I don't want one tossed into my room!
So, I saw some very neat stuff, including the bomb disposal robot, which (quite loudly and suddenly) disposed of a bomb in the middle of the field.


Hopefully, the post will begin to send me more media so that I can make a nifty promotional video for the Oro Valley Police Explorer Post #2011.

Explorer Competition

Ok, Monday morning it's off to NAU for a week for the Law Enforcement Explorer Conference. I'm representing Explorer Post 2011, Squad 2, Alpha Team. Sounds cool, eh? Really, it's a lot of lectures on different aspects of law enforcement, but I'm really there for the competitions!

I will participate in two out of the four simulated law enforcement scenarios available to my post, and I hope I do well. I don't think I'll have access to a computer, so this is my last blog for a week, in that case.

We will be living in the dorm; Elijah is my roommate. Lucky for me, he will be practicing his bagpipes. Ah, well. It should be fun nonetheless. And, there's dances and stuff.

Half Life 2: Episode 1

Don't worry, no spoilers here!

I just thought that I'd review the game. I'm sure by now we've all played the first one, though, so let me explain my initial confusion. Episode 1 was marketed as the prequel to Half Life 2. Wasn't it? But it's not! It takes place right where the first one left off -- in the middle of that weird explosion we all hated so much.

The beginning is very annoying, as you don't have as much control, but you soon take point. The puzzles are still the same combination of physics and acrobatics, but now they've thrown in some electronics and logic. Yes indeedy, every important door has a switch somewhere you need to jump to and turn on. However, it's not the same old puzzles. These require a bit more thinking, and are still different from the original puzzles. (They put a new twist on the seesaw puzzle from HL2).

Now let's talk about Alyx. Sure, she's nice. But she's utterly useless in this game. Her only real purpose is to provide MINIMAL covering fire for you in certain instances, and use her zappy tool to hack combine electronics. If she just gave Gordon Freeman the tool, she would be totally unneccessary.

New monsters? Why, yes! There was some sort of squid-like thing that induces killer migraines (after you run for cover, you just sit there thinking "wtf?"), and headcrabs now turn the Combine into suicidal maniacs (Alyx calls them "Zombines"). Oh, and there's a creepy encounter with some Stalkers.

But the sountrack was awesome, the music picked up at just the right times, and provided just the right blood-pounding tempo to blast badguys to. I highly reccommend this for any HL2 fan, as well as for you losers who haven't even played the Half Life series yet. It will rock your world.

My Vacations

First the Texas part of my blog:

So I went to the University of Arlington to register for the Fall of 2006. I'm officially majoring in Software Engineering so I can get mad hacks for programming robots. UTA has an Artificial Intelligence Lab, robotic dogs that play soccer, battle bots, unmanned aerial vehicles, clubs that design and develop games... I'm going to have so much fun there being a geek!

Halfway through my math readiness tests, though, there was a gas leak. Leave it to Texas, right? So we new students were ushered out of the building while everyone else lounged around on the inside, eating food and having a good time at registration. It took them half an hour to get the message through that the building was dangerous, and another hour before they figured out how to shut the gas OFF. Oh well.

San Diego.

Did much beaching in San Diego. Got some excellent body surfing in (it's like boogey-boarding, without the board. Way easier.). Ate GREAT food, and rode the rollercoaster a bazillion times. Steve joined in, and we had tons of fun just hanging out. Late at night we'd watch '24,' and by day we'd go play at the beach. We even got buried neck-deep in the sand a few times. And once in a while we'd catch sand crabs with Aiden and Jason.

And then came Jet Skiing, which is really my all-time favorite thing to do, moreso than playing on the computer. Steve and I rode one jet ski, and traded off being the driver every fifteen minutes or so. We tried wake hopping, which, obviously, is when you cross the wake of another fast-moving craft and use it as a jump. We got some good ones in, and then I noticed the perfect opportunity: My dad's jetski was ahead and to the right, and a speedboat was ahead and to the left. So there were two wakes (or four jumps) in a row if I came at the wakes perpendicular!

I went for it, but something went wrong.

First my dad's wake tilted the jet ski to the left when we landed, but right away the other wake hit us, and threw us to the right. It felt like we ran into a rock. One minute I'm on the jet ski, and the next, there was a big JOLT and I'm in the air, and then I hit the water at 40mph. I skid for a ways (water really is SOLID at those speeds) then just sank a bit. I kept my body limp to avoid injury, but it still HURT. My life vest pulled me up to the air (because I was too disoriented to find it myself.) Steve and I landed maybe 50-60 feet away from where the jet ski was. We just floated there for a minute, waiting for our brains to catch up while we giggled like idiots.

My dad came back to haul me up to take me to my jet ski so I could rescue Steve. But I accidentally tilted his jet ski and threw him off. In the course of the rescue, we tipped the jet ski over one more time before I could get back to mine. It takes a lot of strength to haul yourself back onto a jet ski, let me tell you. Strength Steve and I could hardly spare.

I guess it was the shock from that little accident, but I felt a bit woozy for a while afterwards. But hey, it was still the best day of the whole vacation. We got the jet ski up to 46mph (6mph over the supposed maximum for the craft), hopped some great wakes, and hit the water going 40mph.

But I began to miss home badly. So I'm going to quit my job so I can spend more time with friends, because I'll be making two more trips before I go to college. From July10 to July 15, I'll be in Flagstaff with the police explorers. And the weekend around August 12 I'll be in California again for my cousin's Bat Mitzvah. And August 24 I move into my dorm.

First Blog

This is jut a blog to let you all know that Brian's Blogs are now open for business!